I've got friends in many places

I spent the first three days of this week in La Jolla California. I'll write about my actual trip in my travel blog but this is about WHO I spent those 3 days with and how impactful it turned out to be.

I have a friend we'll call Chiquita. I'll picked that name not only to hide her identity but also because the way I know Chiquita I envision her with a basket of fruit on her head, wearing a wildly colored dance outfit, swinging on a vine watching over the world and all it's weirdness. Chiquita has a very cool beau I'll call Vesuvius. That's a very fitting name for him. He at one time was wild, angry and could erupt taking out villages but 30+ years ago decided he didn't want to be so angry and is now a peaceful giant that's lovely to look at and even better to listen too BUT there's always the underlying caution one must take because he could erupt again if he so chooses. Especially if his Chiquita is in anyway in danger!

I met Chiquita a little more than 5 years ago while taking an exercise class in my former hometown. She is 20 years older than the Punkin and several inches taller. I was intimidated to say the least. For some reason, that is till foreign to me, Chiquita decided that I was someone she wanted to get to know. When I say I have no idea why she picked me, that's not an insecurity issue for me that's the truth. We had nothing in common and alot of the people that I had for friends at that point 'needed' me. Chiquita did not need me to help her life. But with some effort and some very straight forward questions on her part, we became friends. I thank the Big Guy for that after every exchange we have!

The last few years I was in Cali, Chiquita and I saw and/or spoke to each other almost every day. When I found out we were moving I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. Luckily she got the drift of what I was trying to say between tears. She and Vesuvius were the last people Hubbs and spent time with before we left Cali.

Let me back it up a moment and explain how Vesuvius plays into this story. The week before the Hubbs and I made it legal, Chiquita and Vesuvius took us out for dinner. This was the first time Hubbs met Vesuvius and it was a rather turbulent time for Hubbs career wise. We spent several hours that evening, say 5, talking (and for Hubbs a few yelling moments) with this couple. The biggest impact was the times we just listened to them. Now almost 2 years later the Hubbs counts that evening as one of the major life altering events that propelled him to where he is now. Vesuvius has a way of getting to the matter of the issue at hand. He listened as Hubbs yelled and got righteous and even agreed that Hubbs wasn't wrong in his frustration. What I found amazing during that 5 hour marathon was that Vesuvius, with much calmness, gave insight to what was really going on and steered Hubbs down another path. It was truly amazing to watch this happen. I'm sure we didn't fully understand the impact of that night until recently.

So now we're 5 months into our relocation and I FINALLY get to spend a few days with my friend. La Jolla was lovely and the food was Divine. LOL!! I love how well you know me now! You already know where this is headed doncha?! Yep, you're right, it ain't about the the food or the beach. We could have been in Blythe CA! Which if you don't know is an awful place in the middle of nowhere between CA and AZ. Chiquita and I fell right back into our comfortable relationships with conversations that left me thinking, growing and loving life.

On the six hour ride back to the desert I had alot of time to think. I spent a bit of that crying but most of it relieved. I wrote previously about how we can see who we are in old friends. This past week I began to realize that we also see who we want to become with new friends. Our friendship, me and Chiquita, is balanced. Though there is a 20 years age gap and some mentoring involved, we share equally and both walk away better for our exchange. During our 3 days together, Chiquita asked me questions that gave me pause at times. One that comes to mind was "what the heck is that about?" Brilliant right?! That's her go to question when I'm telling her some story about something strange I did or felt. The question seems silly but it's great. It makes me think "what IS that about?" The answer is usually a random experience or idea that I was clueless about until her question.

One of the last things we did before leaving really metaphorically sums up what I think about friendship.

EXT. DAY - LA JOLLA STATE PARK

To WOMEN with a 20 year age gap walk a sandy path that curves through vegetation covered cliffs that overlook the Pacific Ocean. Little JACK RABBITS appear at the edge of the trail and watch the two tourist women with amusement.

WOMAN #1
Where the heck are we?
WOMAN #2
You have the map! What does it say?
WOMAN#1
Oh yeah.
(She pulls the map from her pocket.)
Looks like we're...well I'm not sure exactly.
WOMAN #2
Let me see
(she looks at the map too)
I think we turn right up at the top of the hill but I have no idea!
WOMAN #1
I guess we keep walking. At least the view is pretty.
WOMAN #2
and we're getting exercise!
WOMAN#1
Good point! We'll get out of here eventually.
WOMAN #2
So let's just keep going at least we've earned a good lunch!

So how does that explain friendship? Well, for me its simple. I'm on a path that I have no idea where's its taking me. I have friends that try to look at the map too but they may only see a little ahead. So we keep walking and give each other reasons to find a good lunch!